I’d love to tell you why I stopped writing. I’d love to have an explanation of what caused me to forget that if I ever want to be any sort of writer, I should probably be practicing the craft a bit. I’d love to analyze and assess the situation and come up with a perfectly reasonable conclusion summarizing why I stopped doing something I enjoyed. If I could tell you, I would. If I could tell myself, I would.
1. Alien abduction. It wasn’t me! I was replaced by an a perfect replica of myself, minus the desire (or ability) to blog.
Pro: In this theory, everything I’ve done wrong over the past year is neatly explained away.
Con: I don’t remember the time away, which is incredibly creepy. I could have been operating a weapon of mass destruction in outer space all that time and I wouldn’t even remember it!
Why it’s unlikely: I’m not cool enough for that much attention.
2. Responsibility. I’ve been spending all that time doing incredibly responsible things. While blogging is not a waste of time, I did not have time for it amidst all the incredibly responsible and worthwhile things I was doing.
Pro: I’d have gotten so much done!
Con: It makes me sound just so boring.
Why it’s unlikely: It’s absolutely ridiculous and utterly improbably.
3. Sentence Construction Amnesia. I forgot how to put words together, and it’s even a medical condition. This would be best evidenced by my lack of blogging as well as my inability to form complete sentences when speaking and attempting to write papers.
Pro: I’d be able to do all those things now!
Con: I haven’t been making sense for that many months, and I didn’t even know. (This would, however, explain a lot.)
Why it’s unlikely: I still can’t form complete, comprehendable sentences when speaking and writing school papers. It’s inconsistent.
4. WordPress hates me. The website has been actively blocking me, and only me. I only just hacked my way through the barriers. Pro: Nerd credit for winning.
Con: I could have just used a different blogging platform.
Why it’s unlikely: My coding skills are limited to what HTML it took to make my Myspace page look cool back in the day. My hacking skills are limited to Facebook hacking a pre-signed in page.
So there you have them. The absolute only legitimate theories for my lack of blogging. Feel free to let me know which sounds the most likely, or least unlikely story, and I’ll vehemently stand by that one.
Have a nice day.
Sentence Construction Amnesia is definitely the reason. Amnesia is always the best excuse. Alien Abduction is just lame. Or would just make it sound like you got lost in the world of Who, (which actually might be a viable explanation…)